Just me, who else...

I felt the sun falling on my skin, I felt the joy populating my mind, my heart. I've been hurt to the point of death, of utter despair. Love will always be my drug. And so my heart went on strike. It said: no more! And so I listened, if my heart is not in it, then how can I be? And so a string of lovers came along, all competent in their role, "love for a night little girl, and walk away", my heart said, and I listened. Who am I not to trust my heart? And then he came along and all bets were off. My heart was charmed by him. taken over by his words and the promises of something more. I was doubtful, my cynical self, never truly committed to anyone, felt this was a game, a trick. And I fell, despite all the warnings. What a fool. 

Undoubtedly all the petty doubts rushed back, the blame fell squarely on me, and I was the only one feeling the pain of it all. I was left with the broken heart, once again. By the nature of who I am, I remain by myself. Just because I cannot let go of the pain. Somehow I cannot let go of it. If I do it is as if it never existed, that great love, the one I fought for till I bled. I thought for a split second I had, he made me feel like I had. I felt the inklings of a great love. And then, by virtue of who I am it was gone. And I am a fool once again. The one carrying the weight of a broken heart all by herself. But that's ok, "I'm done with great love, I'm back to great lovers". Why fight who your are? Nobody will fight for you anyway. I shall remain me, just me.