My Mind: The Starry Night

As I danced the music away my mind sparkled. It lit up like a starry night. Everything became much more intense, much more intimate, madness became seductive. The darkness of the past few months dissipated and certainty arrived. I wanted to tell the world of the happiness that now enveloped me, and I did. What I haven't told the world is that it wasn't only the music that lit up my mind, and that it wasn't only one night of dancing. The love was not coming from outside, the love was inside all along. For the past year the downs have come more often than I can take, I broke several times, some more dangerously than others, some more destructive. But one thing kept me going, the deep, unwavering belief that when you have love staring you in the face you cannot turn your back on it. When you meet the person who will fill your days with joy and your nights with passion, you can't give up. The fight was long, and more than once I felt I couldn't carry on, many days sitting smoking and drinking myself stupid to forget that love, but no amount of alcohol and pain changed my heart, it was set on that love, like never before. You came and went, gave me the warmth and took it away just as easily, but I kept believing. There is a part of me, ancient and strong, wise and unrelenting that knows better than the rest. That part kept me alive and hopeful. That part knew that one day that love would become what it was created for: ours.

Yes, my mind sparkled like a starry night, and yes, the music had a lot to do with it. But you, my love, were the driving force. There is nothing quite as deafening and paralysing as abandoning that force. I refused to do so, and today I sit in the sun, just a bit concerned that all this happiness might send me into one of my manic stupors but certain that if it does you will also be the calming whisper that will level me, because our future, and our present can heal the mistakes of our past and can keep me strong to withstand the storms that at times ravage my mind. Times won't always be blissful, but they will always be rewarding. Forever transforming us but holding us together in love and companionship, with passion and understanding. Not much can be done against the tides apart from letting them take you where you ought to go. It is next to you that I will be fulfilled.