Silence...

In the absence of words I am forced to find meaning in the silence that now inhabits this space. More is being said when nothing is uttered, the emptiness that I have to face fills me with dread. I continue to reach out, but there is no reply. I sit quietly in this abandoned world, with only my voice to listen to and my thoughts my only company. I have been left alone, no goodbyes, no farewells, just the deafening silence of your absence. Time passes slowly leaving the traces of my sorrow behind, my mind filled with doubts. The heaviness of what has not been said sits on my heart, and all I want is to sit behind a fast car and escape these times that have brought me so much sadness. I long for times when my world was filled with words, with embraces, with joy. I went to the other side of the world to escape the unavoidable, but it caught up with me, in the space between words, in the silence.

With my words I shattered the life I was creating for myself, and with words I tried to repair it. But nothing was enough, I tried to fill the angry spaces with visions of love and tender caresses, I patiently picked up the pieces and put them back together, with music I dreamt of doing away with the silence. But the silence still remains, and with it my heavy heart. I thought I deserved more than this nothingness, I was foolish enough to believe I was worth more than this silence. But I was easily forgotten, and now I must forget too. I will exist in this silence until I forget, until the day I can fill my world with words of love, but until then I will continue to break the silence with my writing, my only friend.