Coming out of the mental health closet

Recent news on Bipolar Disorder has brought the condition to the fore front of media coverage and day-to-day conversations. Catherine Zeta Jones’ disclosure of suffering from bipolar II has been welcomed by charities with praise for her honesty and willingness to engage the public in a dialogue regarding mental health problems.

I, too, felt a degree of elation in seeing the condition I have been suffering for over a decade treated with such respect and openness. However the more I thought about it the more concerned I became by its sudden emergence in the press. This is not the first time a celebrity speaks out about their mental health, a few years ago Stephen Fry made known that he too suffered from bipolar disorder and subsequently made a very moving documentary on the subject. That film helped me be honest about the struggles I had to face on my everyday life; to see how other people coped, and sometimes didn’t, filled me with the courage to disclose it as well. It was not received as positively. I have had to face serious problems in my work life and my personal life because of it. People, it seems, are far more understanding when it comes to celebrities than when it comes to non celebrities.

A few weeks prior to Ms Jones’ announcement Mental Health charities started a campaign to encourage people to speak out and talk about the issue. This campaign did not receive so much coverage. That is a big issue. I have been very lucky in that I have had a very supportive family and friends who have accepted my condition and have helped me through the difficult times; unfortunately I have met those who have not been so lucky. In 2009 I was sectioned, and spent one month in a psychiatric ward; the women I met there suffered from a wide range of psychiatric conditions, some more debilitating than others, but something was very clear, not all of us had a strong personal support system. In fact for many, the only support system they had was the one provided by health professionals, which even though it is very thorough it lacks the kind of therapeutic support that is crucial for a lasting recovery. Prior to being sectioned I had to fight in order to get what I felt would be appropriate support, a regular form of therapy that was not only geared towards medicating me. Thankfully my family gave me financial support so that I could access private therapy. Not many can do this.

The battle regarding my work life was far more difficult and lasting. Since I started my most recent job I had to struggle with the lack of understanding from my employers, and their negative attitude towards my condition. They failed to see the fact that having Bipolar disorder actually had a very positive impact on my work ethic and on my ability to do the job. During periods of hypomania I was incredibly productive and my analytical abilities helped me do the job more thoroughly. The implications of having the condition also made me far more understanding of other people’s needs and shortcomings since I had to live with my own. Fair enough, when I hit lows I wasn’t as productive and at times I had to take time off to put myself back together. However, from the onset, their attitude was dismissive and unhelpful, and the periods of absence became longer and longer as I found it increasingly more difficult to deal with the negative attitude at my work place. I had to constantly struggle to have time off for my medical appointments and for my therapy, and the negative attitude quickly escalated to bullying.

Soon after my entry to hospital I was contacted on a regular basis to enquire when I was going to return to work, and at that point the nurses at the hospital referred me to Jobs in Mind, a charity that helped people like me retain their job and/or find other more understanding jobs. The battle to negotiate my return to work was lengthy and difficult, at times I felt I was going to be unable to resolve the issues, I felt intimidated by them. I didn’t want to quit my job and go on benefits; I had this belief that those resources should be reserved for other people, people with more pressing needs than mine. So I kept on fighting and eventually returned to work. At the beginning it was fine, they were concerned by the fact that I had become acquainted with current legislation regarding discrimination on the basis of disability and that Jobs in mind were monitoring my situation.

In spite of all my efforts the situation at work eventually deteriorated and I had to make the difficult decision of leaving and facing unemployment. Unfortunately the current economic situation had affected the charity sector and Jobs in Mind had to close down (see my entry on the matter). I, in spite of this, left my job, and that was the best decision I ever made. I am still unemployed, but I am searching for different jobs in other industries, and I want to pursue a career that will help raise awareness on the issues on discrimination. That’s why now I am writing this, even though I commend Catherine Zeta Jones’ courage it hasn’t done much to change the important issues on the ground level. People suffering from mental health problems still face segregation and the stigma of having a mental health problem still keeps them from finding jobs and of forming lasting and supportive relationships. I hope the impact of Ms Jones’ revelation will make the government realise that more needs to be done in the matter and that the cuts to services is not only unfair but it will be detrimental to the ‘Big Society’ they so eagerly want to promote. I have been lucky with my circumstances but there are many who are not, and I hope that those reading this will engage in the dialogue that has now been opened up, and that you will help in raising awareness and in pressuring the local authorities into doing more. Please read on and pass on.