It has been pointed out to me in the past that I am far too nice for my own good, often by people who then turn around and hurt me. I don't know how to be any other way. I care for people, even those who don't care about me. The past week I chose to leave Facebook precisely for that reason, I realised I put myself in the firing line too easily, and fickle hearts find it too easy to target me. In spite of all my efforts sometimes it is necessary to say goodbye and to invest on those who will not treat you badly.
In the past week I have made sure I see a good friend every day that I cherish their love that I am there for them. I have connected with recent acquaintances and I have rekindled old friendships. I have come to terms with the lost loves and lives that ceased to be over the past year. A painful anniversary is approaching fast and the sadness that came with it reminds me of why I ought to keep going and that I must be there for those who want me and need me. A year ago my friend asked for help, and I did all I could to help her, but it was not enough. She decided she couldn't be part of this world anymore, and no amount of love or help kept her with us, she left us, and those of us left behind questioned our actions and what we could have done. Finally, a year later, I have come to terms with her death, there really was nothing I could have done, but at least I tried, and I hope my company and the love I gave her helped her cross over and say goodbye in love and not in pain. She taught me much, since the day she left I chose to stay, to love, to give, to be there. I have to say goodbye to those who willingly hurt me, but to all of those who are part of my life, who sometimes hurt me but don't mean it, who sometimes leave me without wanting to but come back when I need them, those who give me their love unconditionally, and expect nothing less than that from me. Those who, in spite of everything, remain.
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